FairyLand

Work...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 7:26 PM

Well I can't say that it's easy, but I feel like I've been having a harder time at work because of one of the bosses...she's just sooo rude to me! She's nice to other workers but when it comes to me she makes it sound like I'm a retard and insults me. Her tone just annoys me she watches me all the time...always checking up on me. Frig I can't even do work because she's always there annoying me!

_sigh

I am glad I get to talk to the main boss tmrw about her maybe because I don't think I should deal with her attitude anymore.

-talk soon xox

Oh my,

Sunday, October 4, 2009 8:57 PM

long time no write?

Well I have lots to update I think...

Let's start off by how I'm doing...well I'm doing good just feeling achy due to my gym visits, heh never did get to see the cutie who talks to me at work :( oh well, I'm glad I don't have to see him looking all gross and sweating haha. I have been really trying hard to make positive feelings to myself, since all I do is put myself down and basically make myself feel like crap. My weight has always been an issue but I find myself not getting anywhere but sitting around so I thought I'd do some exercise and start the changes there. I don't want to *hate* myself I want to learn to embrace myself and how I am. So I need to do something instead of complain and make my self esteem into dust. I actually love the feeling of achiness of my body, it feels as though I made a change. So there goes my stomach muscles haha! My gym partner is great motivation but I find myself not getting along with her very well, she just tries so hard to start drama that's not necessary trying to get me to talk crap about fellow employees at work blah blah. I hate when people do that...so there goes the trust with her up goes the guard of making sure I don't say anything I really feel around her.

At the gym I basically try to do 45 minutes of ellipticals, cool down for 5 mins on the treadmill, and then another 25-40 mins of doing leg weights, arm weights, sit ups,& stretches.

Oh my it's hard work.

Hopefully someone will notice something about my hardwork...I want to continue to work at it and make changes. I want to be happy about the way I look but it's hard. But if there's no confidence who will talk to me right? I mean I don't want to sit there looking away from the person I like or just feeling really insecure about what I look like.

Every person I find that I fall for, leave me in the end. I've always seemed to blame this on my looks but I know that's wrong. & hopefully I feel better about myself.

OH plus Steven's gonna be going to the gym too! so me and him=Awesome team hahaha :D

Well, I'll update soon since I feel like writing in here more nowadays :) whoever reads this, I hope you take care.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009 12:47 AM

Ahhh Okay so I haven't updated in a hella long time!

myyy baaaaaaad.

I'm currently on Skype with Steven&Eddie, just about to hit the hay.

Eddie's mumbling away about sex or something...

Starting to feel the drift disappear but still feel like things aren't ever going to be the same. Trying to not think about it so much because whenever I do I usually freak out and get upset. So I try to focus on other things and alter my feelings even if I can't completely. Ya I know, I shouldn't but I'm really not feeling like I'm getting anything back I guess? Just some hints or some sort of insight if I should continue on feeling this way would be really helpful. But I can't keep tearing myself up over something that will never happen.

Love fails.Atleast for me.Always.

-Jaz ttyl.

Saturday, August 1, 2009 9:13 AM

Wow I haven't blogged in sooooooo long! I have been so busy working,biking,hanging,filming that I haven't made time to report here anymore D: So anyways I went biking with my friend Mike for 5 hrs+ and lemme just say that I am really feeling the burn today...I'm so sore! >_< even as I'm typing my hands have a weird feeling. Note to self, make sure to buy a new seat cover. Excited for a party coming up on the 14th of august! :D I invited like one person so far but there's gonna be a whole lotta others at the party to start with LOL. Ahhh I'mma be a bit scared I haven't gone to a party in a long time? but ya thought I'd just report back here for the time being.
Don't forget to subscribe and add me as a friend on my new youtube channel!

http://youtube.com/jazzubelle

Byee!<3

ahh

Saturday, July 18, 2009 6:49 PM

I'm so tired! I know I haven't written here in sooo long!

Only to post new videos I've done xD

So I thought I'd give you an update on what's happening,

AS you probably have noticed me and steven joined the youtube community,

and I have branched off to do my own personal channel. =D

it's pretty addicting to go out and film new videos xD

But so far no negative comments and hopefully none do come =S

Ya steven's computer fails LOL he keeps dropping calls.

Here are some photos from our (me&emral) trip to Pmall xD